TND Scoops the Internet!

It was bound to happen…

Leave it to me to buck my own trend. Today was just supposed to be a typical Bundy Sunday Funday, but I had an epiphany that I literally could not wait to share…the world needs to know, and our dear readers need to know first: I realized that that TND has become the most important media outlet established in 2023.¹ ² ³

Seriously…

No, seriously……

Stop laughing………

Are you finished?…………

OK, so hear me out……………

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Wow. Wow. A lot of action. A lot of action.

I submit to you that:

1. napping is definitely part of the latterday zeitgeist;⁴

2. TND has tapped into said zeitgeist; and

3. TND is ahead of the curve

Are we really ahead of the curve here, or am I at risk of having to walk back an article? Has a (famous) Brandeis grad ever (infamously) had to do that before?

“What is your proof?” you ask. Why, take, the recent “There's No Nap Quite Like the Baseball Nap,” written by Matthew Roberson and published by GQ. This is GQ’s second sports/napping crossover piece in 38 days,⁵ though unlike their first, which focused on the importance of naps to NBA players, this piece focuses on the fans. I’m in.

From this point forward, I’m gonna go all Sollozo here and speak directly to the author/publisher:⁶

First and foremost, I want you to know that I appreciate you tremendously. You make a great case for why baseball is a great sports “napping cheat code,” if you will, and I’m not saying it isn’t. You’ve put on a very theatrical production,⁷ and we’re going to talk more about that. So don’t shoot the messenger here, OK?

I’ve got some news you may not like to hear. Are you sitting down? Good.⁸

OK, I need to tell you that:

1. baseball is no longer a napping game; and

2. if you’d been listening to the Dude’s story,⁹ you’d have known this for months

That can’t be easy to hear, I’ll give you a minute to process…

Allow me to expound…tbc……

1. Technically established in 2022.

2. Yes, now I’m adding editorials before my own pieces. Oh wait, I do that like all the time.

3. [Reserved to ensure that the next footnote is Footnote 4 (see Footnote 4 and you’ll understand why)]

4. OK prepare for the most epic footnote 4 since Carolene Products. That one is for the lawyers (or recovering lawyers) in the bunch.

Everyone knows that you don’t really understand a word until you can use it in a sentence, and I tend to confuse the word “zeitgeist” with other German words on permanent loan to us Americans (e.g., “gestalt”). To that end, thanks for the opportunity to include it in this publication…I can feel myself self-actualizing……I’ve also always wanted to use the word “latterday” — really freed two birds with one key on that one!

See what I did there? Had to Google to find the least insensitive framing of that concept, and when I did, I discovered something else…something……shocking………

OK, breaking news, world: Brandeis University appears to have taken down its “suggested language list” that I mentioned a while back and that was the subject of a small media kerfluffle in the back half of 2021! I’d also like to thank this footnote for affording me the opportunity to squeeze a third desert island word into this article: kerfluffle.

My inquisitive journalistic mind got to wondering…to the Internet Archive! Tip of the hat here to

Grizzly Adams

for introducing me to such a place — as promised, I hereby tell tales of your compassion. So it appears that Brandeis took this site down on March 14, 2023, after initially posting it in the summer of 2021 (1.5-2 years active). I began to wonder when this happened and whether it had been picked up in the news or on Twitter…and I didn’t find any mentions of this……TND scoops the mainstream media again………!

I wonder why the ‘deis took it down…maybe I’ll reach out to them to ask……? Stay tuned for more groundbreaking investigative journalism here on TND………!

5. We profiled the first GQ article, “The Art of the NBA Nap,” here. See earlier comment re zeitgeist (link to definition if you need it).

6. Mr. Roberson, please don’t pay me in kind by going all Michael Corleone.

7. Waiting for Guffman reference — can’t seem to find a YouTube vid of Lloyd Miller (Bob Balaban) telling the camera what he thinks of Corky St. Clair (Chris Guest). If you haven’t seen this movie 5000 times, please stop what you’re doing right now and watch it 5000 times.

8. This is so hard…I mean, there’s nothin’ easy about this…this is like, y’know, when you’re gettin’ your legs waxed and they whip that thing off real fast……that’s what this is like………

If you’ve taken Footnote 7 to heart, you’ll get this footnote…………if not, see Footnote 7……………

9. And by “the Dude,” I’m talkin’ about

Evan Schultz

here…